You have no one to impress but yourself.

Where in your life are you trying to be impressive instead of being honest?

I’m not talking about just to impress others...I’m talking about trying to impress yourself.

When you stand in the mirror, do you shift your body around until you’re happy with what you see?

Are you telling yourself that you don’t drink as much as you do?

How about spending more money each month than you’re bringing in?

Are you taking photos of yourself with high-end luxury items (that aren’t yours) and telling people online that you can help them achieve this kind of wealth too?

Let’s take that one step further and say the items are yours but did you purchase them with money from your 9-5 instead of your new business like you claim?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting, having, or manifesting the things you want in life, but only if you’re being truly honest with yourself and your clients. When you’re not authentic, you’re not only creating a facade, you’re creating a gap in your communication. You’re laying out an unrealistic road map or highlight reel that is unachievable for them. How can you honestly teach, coach, or mentor someone on something you haven’t done yet yourself? If you have to trick someone into purchasing your services, you’re not building a relationship based on trust. This doesn’t create any sense of loyalty. You’re creating customers that will jump ship as soon as someone else with a fancier photo with a lower price comes along.

Something else you’re doing is denying yourself any sense of gratitude for all the things you’ve done to get to this point in your life and for all the things that you actually have. When you take an honest stock of where you came from and where you are, it is soooo much easier to figure out where you’re going. When I moved home to NH last year, Kyle lost his job. I was lucky to have a savings account and little side jobs lined up to help us pay our bills and have more than enough food on the table. When I started my business, both before and in the midst of C-19, I was able to continue to pay bills from my savings account and live off of Kyle’s income. We know we are blessed to have these things (as well as parents that would take us in before allowing us to be homeless, which is also a luxury that not everyone has)!

What I discovered through that was that I have a hard time accepting help. I have always been a workhorse in any industry I’ve worked in: theatre, waitressing, field marketing. In my former relationship, I didn’t pay all of our bills but I provided A LOT of things that we had that weren’t necessities: organic snacks, home decor, brunch on Sundays, Christmas gifts. Even when I was able to provide groceries for Kyle and me from my savings account for a few months, I was happy to do it. Now that the tables have turned, it has made me uncomfortable and I have been living with the experience that I am a loser, less than, unworthy. 

When I paused to unpack that limiting belief, what I found was that I was lacking a sense of gratitude for a partner that can and is willing to support me. I also realized that the fear of never having enough money has stopped me from pursuing my dreams before. It allows me to slip into comfortable habits or occupations like waitressing. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a waitress: clock in, make money, clock out. The easiest money I ever made. The problem for me is that it is too quick and too easy. I allow myself to get trapped in the cycle of comfortability. When I moved to NYC to chase my dreams of working on Broadway, I told myself that I would not waitress no matter what. I am an addict through and through and if I start, I won’t stop and that won’t allow me to get to where I want to go. I told myself the same thing when I moved home to New Hampshire. Funny story though: right before the New Hampshire stay-at-home orders in March, I accepted a St. Paddy’s Day waitressing shift. The Universe really had my back on that one.. She was like “girl, NO!” And St. Paddy’s was canceled. Let me tell you, we were uncomfortable that month but I no longer want to be comfortable.

I am pushing myself every single day to take risks. Big scary risks. Putting my work online for judgment. Networking with women that are way out of my league. Creating provocative content ripe for criticism. This topic of risks has been coming up a lot lately in my personal development both in my readings and from my barre instructor, Elise Joan. 

This morning, when talking about pushing ourselves at the end of the class, Elise said, “Don’t be afraid to fall down. Falling down is part of the program. I always think that if you’re never falling down, you’re probably not doing anything very interesting. Any time we push our edge or find our edge it’s going to involve falling and that’s ok.” 

So today, I challenge you to be willing to fall. Find your edge, push your limits, stretch your muscles, learn the lessons, rest if you need to, but stand back up and try again because you have no one to impress but yourself.